When I first told my family I was going to start a blog, I was met with crickets.
You could see the big old question marks hanging over their heads. And they weren’t questions marks asking “what’s a blog” …
… hey, we’re wired over here at the B household …
… it was more like “what in the world would you blog about?” And “who in the world would read it?”
Undeterred, I chose our home and improvements to said home as my blogging topic. My genre. My virtual community.
At first it was great.
… and then there was a ridiculous idea that I needed to post seven days a week …
… a ridiculous idea that turned into a stress-induced meltdown just about three weeks into this new venture …
So I regrouped. And made some changes. And blogged on …
… and on … and on … and on …
… until I blogged myself right into a serious rut.
You see, at first the quality of my life improved with blogging. Being a stay-at-home mom can be lonely work. And blogging led to new friends. Comrades in arms, if you will.
But slowly … oh so slowly that it quietly creeps up on you … blogging has ruined the quality of life for my family …
… and me …?
… blogging has just plain ruined me.
How? You ask. How has blogging ruined my family’s quality of life? How has blogging ruined me too?
Let me count the ways …
1. Blogger butt. Self-explanatory.
2. Blogger gut. Again, self-explanatory.
3. My house is a mess … contrary to popular belief.
4. I’m distracted.
5. I’m stressed. All. The. Time.
6. I’m obsessed with all things blogging …to the detriment of all things home ...
7. Nothing is getting done. The blog was started to chronicle my home renovations. And those have sputtered and stalled … and have come to a screeching halt. Hence the stress. And obsession about what to blog about when no room renos are moving forward ….
8. I’m disorganized. Hence the mess.
9. Have I mentioned blogger butt? And blogger gut?
10. I’m so busy doing … doing … doing. So busy “in the moment” that I haven’t had a chance to step back and look at the big picture. Like figuring out a strategy and a plan for the blog and the Etsy. And a strategy for our home and home improvement. And a strategy for me, for that matter …
Clearly something’s gotta give …
And on that note, I’ll leave you on a cliffhanger …
… an idea I’m blatantly stealing from one of my favorite bloggers (who I’m convinced is an evil genius who is going to spend the entire summer leaving us with cliffhangers) …
Which means you’ll need to check back for part 2 …
… or deux … or dos …
… to learn exactly what the “something’s” that “gotta give” will “give” …
P.S. You can read Part 2 of Blogging is Ruining My Life here ...
Let’s keep in touch …
Linking ...
* Home Stories A 2 Z * On Sutton Place *
Oh. Em. Gee...Linda! Thanks so much for the shout-out! You are the best!
ReplyDeleteOh I've been there! Still there some days. But...as soon as I told myself 3 or 4 posts a week were fine and many weeks, I do no parties at all (like this last one) suddenly, I felt much better and my house even looked a little better! Can't wait to see what your solution is.
ReplyDeleteLinda I so agree! Everything you say is true! (including the butt) I feel on a daily basis that I should be catering to my kids, now teens, then doing so much of this... I've thought about quitting many times. The truth is that this makes me happy. If I stopped my blog I'd have to do something else (besides my home and full time job)... I'm anxious to see what you come up with ;)
ReplyDeleteSusan
I'm glad I never got the memo about posting every day, but it hasn't helped the bloggers butt. There are still plenty of other blogs to read that require plopping my azzzz in a chair.
ReplyDelete~Bliss~
Ahhhh Linda you are so funny. Been there, NOT there anymore. When I first started and for about a year my blog consumed me. Not to say it still does not, however, it consumes me in a more positive manner now. In fact, I am off to Yoga shortly, because this butt and gutt is out of control. You need to find that balance and once you do, it get's better.
ReplyDeleteBalance...which is hard to find at times. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
ReplyDeleteI needed this today. I actually popped over here to tell you that I bought a drop cloth yesterday, and am attempting my first pillow!!! Because of you, and because I love yours! I had a similar experience at the beginning of the Summer and decided to take the pressure off of myself. It seemed like the minute that I decided to take my blog back and make it fun again, the ideas and fun came back. I'm like that, though. The minute I think I have to do something, I don't want to anymore. So, I just told myself that I can do what I want, when I want...it's my blog after all. The butt and gut did not go away...that is another story entirely.
ReplyDeleteI do love a cliffhanger...
Jessica
Oh boy. We think we know where this is going (and we really hope we are wrong!!) You can do it!! Big hugs to you (and Ernie too) from NYC!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
mk & Gwynnie
My butt and gut are out of control! But it's summer, the kids are home, times are crazy! Get through the summer - don't post as much - and things will be better come September!
ReplyDeleteKelly
Well, I will be back to see the jump off the cliff (you DID say cliff hanger). Deep breath-deep breath-deep breath- Blessings and I hope you have a peaceful Monday- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteI can hardly wait to hear what the cliffhanger is....We all feel the same and especially in the summer I think. There are too many other projects outside and one does an awful lot of maintenance on gardens & yards and new projects do fall by the wayside...for now. Slow down if yah need to, we'll all be here! xo wendy
ReplyDeleteI feel the SAME way. I can't wait to see part 2 because I seriously need some help.
ReplyDeletePam (non-blogger)
ReplyDeleteI really don't know how you all find the time for all the tasks that have to be done in 24 hours. My kids are grown, and I barely hold it together!!
But Linda, pleeeeeeeze don't quit completely!! I LOVE your blog and your sense of humor. Have a good day.
Pam
hey there my friend! take a deep breath...enjoy the summer...have fun with the kids...go for a walk or two or three...have a frozen delight...watch a fun movie and most of all stay cool in HOT CHICAGO!!! post at your leisure and don't put such pressure on yourself -- step back...smell the coffee and bring it all back into focus and direction :)one that you can manage with all of the other aspects of life...all of your friends and readers will always be here for you and i am sure they don't want to see you distressed! cliffhangers are cool as long as they don't end like they happen on PSYCH or Sherlock or Madmen...and I have to wait 6 months and even more to find out what happens : ) lol!!! sending hugs and chill...sending hugs...
ReplyDeleteThe balance is so hard to find sometimes, Linda -- I feel ya! I made a decision months ago to post 3x a week. period. That's my "magic" number for keeping my sanity and my home and family relatively on track. I may never get to be a big blog that way, but the fam has to come first! We're here for you!! :-)
ReplyDeletexo Heidi
I've been wondering how you've been doing it all! And I hear you. Somewhere in Feb/March I made a commitment to post 3x a week. Couldn't do that and work nearly full-time. I found that twice a week was manageable. I'm back to 3 (barely) this summer, for now, but I'm sure I'll have to cut back to 2 again when school/work starts. I've been envious watching others who can do much more, but I just keep reminding myself that slow growth is still growth and it's a marathon, not a sprint.
ReplyDeleteHere's where I struggle: I have so many more things I'd like to write about than I have time to write. We wanted a fairly broad blog, but we're finding ourselves narrowing our focus because that's about all we can do at 2/3x a week. Guess we'll all figure it out (or not!) :-) Really love all you do here. (And about that butt/gut thing: I joined a gym this summer, for the first time ever. Best decision in a long time!)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the above, I made a mistake in hitting publish after typing two words! Anyway- this is sounds like some blogger burnout and I have been there at times as well. It's amazing what you don't get done when you sit at the computer for hours isn't it?! ;)
ReplyDeleteTry maybe just posting when you feel like or have something to share, I find that takes the pressure off. You've grown a big following in a short time, so be proud of that effort. No more stressing, ok?
:)
I feel your pain. I felt that way shortly after starting my blog. I think I'm just too much of a creative flibbertigibbet. I wanna do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it. That doesn't always work out in the blog world if you feel like painting lamps all week. That might get kinda boring. When you figure out what the balancing act is, please write that book and I will buy it! And the butt and gut...wish I could blame mine on the blog. sigh.
ReplyDeleteYou too huh? i heard those crickets at my place too, little creeps!! Here i thought i was the only half-crazed mommy blogger out there! Can you say "scattered"?? I actually had a mini breakdown in "Angie In The thick of it's" comments section, love her by the way, if you don't know her check her out she's hilarious!! I've been actually considering ending the blog. Listen, we are smart people, I know we can figure this out! I think this is what i plan to do, my hubby's vacay is coming up, we won't be home and even though my stats have come way up, i think i'm going to take a break from the blog for that week and come up with a plan! Better content, ubber creativity, consistent posts, not seven days a week but consistent. I may even revamp the blog again (maybe even a name change) have you googled flickerwhips, yeah, go ahead, wait till you see what else pops up!! a schedule will probably do me some good as well, A house cleaning day, and errand running afternoon, and an Etsy day etc. i think being as consistent as possible is the key, even if your readers know you only post once a week at least they know you only post once a week, you know what i mean?!? Summer isn't the greatest time to blog either with the kiddies being home from school! Why did we start our blogs in the first place....for me it was to try an learn a little money and attract more business for my etsy. This is just like any other business, it takes time, we won't be mustard seeds over night, right?? With less than 70 followers i've got a whole lot to be discouraged about, but i think i need to give it more time and i think you do too!! Like i said we aren't stupid people we CAN figure this out! Researching this stuff wouldn't hurt either, their are hundreds of other bloggers that have done this with advice to be had!!!! Wow, now i've written a book here! LOL!! Chin up...;)
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone! Blogger guts and butts unite. Seriously, I also didn't know how much time blogging would take up. I like it most of the time, but when it gets to feeling like a duty versus fun, I have to take a step back. I don't know how anyone can keep up with posting every weekday unless it's a full-time job; sometimes I don't have time to post once a week! (And then, of course, there's having to post my comments on others' blogs twice, because I was signed in under the wrong name the first time. :P)
ReplyDeleteyou are definitely not alone.... i was away last week and had no internet and i didn't want to come back. i still don't even want to be here blogging.... i am hoping to push my way through it. i felt so free....
ReplyDeleteBlogger butt! I LOVE that!! And I'm with you 100%. My kids have learned to make their own lunches and do the wash because of my blogging, so it can't be all bad, right?
ReplyDeleteMy house has never ever looked so bad! Projects, supplies, half finished rooms, overflowing Craigslist finds...I'll be waiting to see how you figure it out! :)
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh because this is me... well not really because I gave up LONG ago on the idea of trying to blog on a regular basis, especially since my blog started out as a means of keeping friends and family informed on what was going on in our life in Alaska. Yes, Alaska... And no we don't live there any longer. Been in Indiana for just over two years. That was when I decided to change things up but I was too busy. And now it seems like every time I think about blogging about something I see someone I follow do the same thing which makes me feel like a copycat (something I disliked in school and still do to a certain extent.) And honestly most of the time something does give... my blog which is okay by me. I blog about my projects... share with all 52 of my followers and focus the rest of my time on our family. :) For now it works, for me because well honestly I am just not up to more of a commitment then that. Maybe once the school year is back in session...
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I know whatever you do will be the right thing for you. And just to let you know I dearly love your blog and your projects... but whatever is best for you is what the decision needs to be. Have a great day! Enjoy our wonderful weather!
I think you are amazing.
ReplyDeleteYou. Can. Do. It.
:) me
PS Great feature today!
You are not alone!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOn my first blog I blogged daily, two years worth of posts and I burned out and removed the blog thereby losing all followers and material. One year later and I missed blogging. I restarted but made a personal commitment only to blog once per week, or more if I felt like it. Now I blog usually 1 to three times per week and the stress factor has been removed. Or, maybe try a blog vacation? Two months off sort of thing? Enjoy your summer - and don't take your blog down - just take a break!
ReplyDeleteThe thing that bugs me the most about blogging is that I never feel caught up...in control...at peace. There is always something to do, something to write, blogs to visit, etc. I'm a "let's get this finished" kind of girl but now nothing is ever finished. Can't wait to hear what you've come up with. Way to go at striking a chord everyone can sing!
ReplyDeleteemmmm yup, blogging can be a big pita! That's why I blog once/week (maybe twice). and I do really simple projects mostly - none of that sewing stuff that takes lots & lots of time. You're so good at it though and I suck at it! lol
ReplyDeleteCarry on regardless as the Brits say...
Linda, your blog is great and I'll continue to read whether you post once a week or 5 times a week, so don't kill yourself!! :)
ReplyDeleteTo what butt... and what gut, are you referring too?
ReplyDeleteHave you been peeping in on me ;)
You have me all curious now... and I am not good at that!!!!
Love how Kirby writes my the way, good blogger to emulate =)
Linda you are such a hoot! Looking forward to reading part two.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt that blogging can take on a life of its own and quickly push out your 'real' life! I've just determined that I will not attempt more than one or two posts a week AND even if that doesn't happen - it's okay. I've also determined to remind myself WHY I started blogging and it's NOT to have thousands of followers (although that would be fun and I love getting new ones!) or get on a t.v show (now THAT would be fun!) or gain national recognition. I started blogging to share ideas, gain ideas and inspiration, encourage others that you CAN decorate on a tight budget and have FUN! I limit myself to an hour on the computer a day for my blog. These are just MY guidelines but they have helped.
ReplyDeleteMmm, yes. I hear you. Blogger butt. Check. Less home progress. Check. ALWAYS thinking about blogging. Check. Putting off doing things or being late for life because I was blogging/photographing. Check. Add: feeling deficient more than I ever have before. Check check.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I feel less like a blogging chump knowing I'm not alone.
Love the Kirby:)
ReplyDeleteI've been taking blogging easy this summer, less reading, less commenting, less stress, and it's working out WAY better. Plus I decided not to be obsessed with link parties and getting into them, I chose 1-2 a week and that's it. Then, on days like today where the stars align and the kids behave/sleep/nap/go to school/aren't teething I can just sit for hours flipping through my favorite blogs and leaving (I hope) meaningful comments.
Oh, and to combat bloggers butt, I schedule in gym workouts. I reward myself with trashy reality tv, or I would never, ever do it:)
Jessica
stayathomeista.com
I feel theexact same way right now... Can't wait to hear your plan :)
ReplyDeleteGive yourself a month off and don't beat yourself up if you don't blog every day after that. I am lucky if I manage to blog once a week at the moment!
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear your plan because I have developed blogger gut and butt as well! I love blogging, but not the weight I have gained.
ReplyDeleteOkay, first. My blog has also taken over my life. How does this happen?! It's just a website. Where you post a few times a week. But it is ALL CONSUMING. Anyway, I'm dying to read part 2 of this. I hope you have some solutions for all of us!
ReplyDeleteI completely and totally understand what you are talking about.... my home renovations are stressful but not having anything to blog about may be even more stressful..... YUCK... I can't wait to hear what you come up with for the answers to your cliffhanger I am in the same boat.... shoot I could be running off this blogger butt and gut but noooo I sit and "work" on my blog! YUCK----that is just NO good when you live on a lake!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! Do what it takes to make you happy and fulfilled!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe all the projects you are able to complete let alone find time to blog about them! It's actually kind of a relief to know it's not all as easy as you make it look. I'm dying to know what your solution is....I'm sure it will be something brilliant! I love your blog so I hope its not something too drastic?
ReplyDeleteLynn
Obviously you've struck a chord out there! It's funny, the blogging part I like the best (doing projects and writing) comes easy...the part that's impossible is keeping up with other blogs, making comments,following parties, going on FB, Twitter, Pinterest....That's the part I get behind on! I think we all need to find some computer savvy teenage girl who wants to work part time.....think of the time saving!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're writing part two in your screened in porch with a glass of pinot grigio. :)
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh reading the title of this post. I too feel the 'pull' to try to post as often as I can. To over come that pull a bit, I've resolved to remember a couple things...one is you have to live 'offline' to have things to post about. So I usually quickly snap a few photos at least during my making process, then I say to myself when I have time I'll have the comfort of knowing I have the photos. It goes quicker. Number two...blogging is 'supposed' to be fun. To make it something you feel you 'have' to do means your turning it into a 'chore' and we all know chores just aren't fun. You may just need a break or maybe commit to blogging ONLY when you have nothing better to do as a reward that all your work is done. I've been thinking that maybe I'll sit down and write out a few posts at a time then schedule them to launch once a week or every few days so that the blog remains active without me while I'm taking pictures for future posts. Just some food for thought. Maybe you should read your very first blog posts...they may remind you to keep the spark. :) Have a good day!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand! That's why I usually take at least one day off a week, and never the same day. If I wake up in the morning and say "Ugg, I dont wanna blog today" then I dont. I never want my hobby to be my job, not enough money for that! Haha! I hope you won't quit blogging completely! <3
ReplyDeleteI hear ya - I've concluded that posting three days a week works best for me. I don't post on weekends. And if I'm on holiday, my blog is on holiday too. I don't get paid to blog, so why stress out about it - it's a hobby and it's meant to be fun, not stressful :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, I so understand, and feel that "I gotta post something or else" feeling. I started blogging because my husband lost his job and had to work out of state, leaving me all alone!!! talk about depression. Then it's what to blog about, how to do it, and every day? Uh oh. So I just don't when I get in that dark place, take a "breather", work on an unfinished project, then make another post. 1-3 posts a week has helped me, at least some. Love your blog - please don't stop!
ReplyDeleteJoAnn
sweetpepperrose.blogspot.com
Right there with ya' girlfriend. Job, kids, house, middle age and a serious lack of a "Martha" sized budget, staff, and resources are making me feel like I'm running on empty (great, now THAT SONG is stuck in my head) some days. I'll make you a deal...let's get together for lunch and talk about all of this stuff...not sure that it would change anything but it would get me out of the house...and away from the weeds. I swear, I'm gonna have to NAME them soon! xo, Kimberly
ReplyDeleteSounds like you put my thoughts into words. 1 blog post everyday is a bit stressful. It is hard. I think blogging is one serious commitment if you want to take it seriously.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like something everyone started to do for fun has become an added stress. I feel this way too a lot. I wonder why we all do this to ourselves? Thanks for sharing what everyone else is thinking ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Heidi and Jessica, I blog 3x's a week, read and comment when I can. If I push myself I loose my creativity. I have plenty of backlogged posts to write, because my furniture has been selling really well. So I don't think I'll run out of blog posts, just need to find time and write them :) Find your pace and don't try to do too much and you will enjoy it so much more :)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Debbie
Can't wait for part 2. I know you won't go anywhere, cause you are just too awesomesauce not to have in the blogging community, but will wait anxiously to see how you are going to work through this dilemma we all struggle with. Love ya Linda!
ReplyDeleteHeather
Hi, I completely understand where you are coming from. Balance is ideal, but not always the answer. When you find it being more of a negative than a positive, it is not good. Stepping away helps and changing things help, but then when you come back or find some sort of balance, if it is still not less stressful or good...then it is time to have a serious talk with yourself. I went through those things and have felt the emotions that you have(or at least it sounds like it). I stopped blogging because frankly, it is not me. I love blogs, love to read them, be inspired by them, look at them, etc.! But when it all came down to it, even that proved too much. I only read 3 blogs now, seriously. On Friday, I will look at posts via Courtney's FNF, but that is my limit. I found that blogging in the long run promoted major negativity in my life and that my balance is to not post, and read only a few. I don't know why I can't handle it all, I just can't. But I will occasionally(like today) see something that grabs me and I check it out. Then too, I can go without looking at blogs all together for a looong time. I hope that you find the balance that works for you, and that people will be kind to you for your choice. Personally, when I was called a quitter, I knew that I had made the right decision to step away(who wants to associate with mean people or closet haters). Hugs to you, and hope there is a silver lining to the dilemma :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can take a break and then come back.
ReplyDeleteI get it. Completely! I used to blog 5 days a week, and it didn't matter what else had to give. The posts were written at the expense of my body, my family, my sleep, my health... nothing got between me and my blog (can you picture the elbows out?) So I decide it was time to regroup and reclaim some of what got lost along the way. I just recently cut back to blogging 2, maybe 3 times a week, and right now with our summer finally kicking in, it's more like 2 times. It's amazing how quickly my time has been filled doing things with the people that I love, time that used to be dedicated blogging time. I love writing my blog, but my loved ones deserve better care and attention than they were getting. So... I'm waiting on the cliff hanger to see what you have in store!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you, Linda! And I just started! I could have written this myself. I like your "everything in moderation" plan from your other post. I'm working on that too... moderation isn't easy for me either! I'm trying to just relax and post when I'm ready to, instead of stressing out so much and turning into a crazy person. And actually getting to bed at a reasonable time would be great! :) So glad to know I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteNice to know we all feel the same at times. You made me laugh with the blogger butt thing - I swore that my my phrase!
ReplyDeleteStacey of Embracing Change
Great post Linda! You have definitely defined the laundry list of the hazards of blogging. I have been blogging for 7 years and I have learned that having a family and posting 3 times per week works best for me and seems to be the right 'balance'. I also write my posts in batches....usually on Sunday for some reason. I write and edit posts for the week and pre-schedule them to publish during the week. I don't make a monhly schedule because I found it way too 'slave to my list' like. I just decide on 3 things that I feel passionate or enthusiastic about that week and I go with it. I also have 'unplugged Fridays' where I don't go on the computer at all, or check twitter or facebook,etc. It feels so good to do this! I have noticed that a lot of the 'big' bloggers don't post Mon-Fri anymore either like they did 2 years ago. I hope you find a path to follow that works for you my friend! You are an awesome blogger! Angie xo
ReplyDeleteAhhh, blogger butt! The not so glamorous thing that can, sometimes, come along with this "hobby".
ReplyDeleteBalance is so tricky to find while still maintaining the relationships that you have work so hard to cultivate. The pressure to post awesome projects more often definitely can be overwhelming. I used to strive to post actual projects 5 days a week and then realized that just wasn't practical. I scaled back to 2 projects per week plus my food feature on Wednesday and party features on Thursday. The food feature and parties I can write/post as far in advance as I want so I don't mind keeping those around. Plus, they require very little effort on my part.
Even with that, some weeks, I would get super stressed about getting it all done. Now, I just kind of think of it as "nothing awful will happen if I miss a week". That is a really hard thought to actual come to grips with though.
I am definitely interested in reading your additional thoughts on this subject and what you have decided to shift in order to try and achieve more balance in your life.
Linda, I so appreciate your honesty. I thought I was the only one with a dirty home and a big butt! So I decided to do something about that butt by going on a diet and designating Fridays for house cleaning. I don't have the rest of it figured out so I'm off to read your 2nd post.
ReplyDelete